16 days

im sure that lots of people are thinking right about now....."what am i thankful for?" 

 well, id say for me, theres a really long list.....

first and foremost...because its what made me think of writing this blog...im especially thankful when ive had a really hard day with dude (because this belly is getting in the way of a lot of things...) and S. comes home from work, and even though i know hes had a long day too, he completely takes over for me, and plays with dude and lets me relax...yup, thats awesome <3 <3 <3

obviously im thankful for my family, i dont know what i, or we, would do without them....they have been there for me and S. and dude every step of the way, and not just my immediate family, when i say "family", i include my in laws too <3

im thankful for my children <3 

i never knew i would be so incredibly happy just looking at dude, and ultrasound pictures of baby girl....its amazing having them in my life, i would do anything for them <3 

my heart beats for them, and i cant wait until i can finally lay eyes on baby girl  <3 

and yes...im thankful for S. <3  :D 

even though he annoys the hell out of me sometimes, and i know i annoy the hell out of him sometimes, we love each other so much, and were able to sit like adults and figure out our issues...

hes an amazing father and fiance...and im so glad that we met :D 

i love him <3 <3 <3

what else am i thankful for??

my friends <3 , pain medication, chiropractors, the fact that S. dosnt give me a hard time about stealing his socks and wearing them LOL, real internet, dude being such an awesome, smart kid, even though it hurts...baby girl stretching out in my belly, tums, being happy, healthy, and with my family <3 

theres so many more things that im thankful for, but you know, wed be here forever if i wrote it all down LOL  what an amazing life 

i love my family <3 

other updates in our family life?

saturday i got to spend the day with mom and dad and dude :)  then that night S., dude, and i went to chinese with mom and dad :)  good food, good conversation, and lots of laughs while dude was hitting on the waitress with all the cleavage LOL  seriously, he was working his game it was hysterical!! :D  and our waitress was really sweet and made sure to find me a double fortune cookie because of baby girl LOL <3

sunday we hung out all day, did a little bit of shopping :)  rented some movies :) 

sunday S. called for k...and of course no answer, even though he called right on time. big surpise....k.s mom calls back to say theyre just getting out of lunch because church got out late....seriously?....k.s 5...and shes got school on monday...and she just got done eating her shrimp plate for lunch at 2 in the afternoon??  what time is supper for her? what is her bedtime? and i dont know if k. and her mom are going to church with the moms new boyfriend and his kids...but they sure went to lunch with them because k. kept talking about the daughter....and its really funny when we can continuously hear k.s mom in the background, trying to discipline her boyfriends daughter, and telling her not to talk about certain things that she dosnt want S. to hear about :D  S. and i were laughing a lot :D  looks like that free babysitting thing is still going on...  whats not funny?  when a little 5 year old girl has the nastiest attitude towards her father and is continuously telling him "its nothing you have to worry about"  when he asks her any sort of question.  her mother seriously needs to watch what kind of attitude shes teaching her daughter, because k. is turning into a snot...its unfortunate. 

monday, dude and i went to playgroup...we had a really good time :)  there was a lot of riding bikes outside and at one point i was pedaling a little kids trike, with dude in the seat in front of me, hauling 2 kids in the wagon behind me, and carrying another little girl on my hip...yes, it was hysterical!!  all the moms were laughing so hard :D  and also giving me a hard time about putting myself in labor...my repsonse?  well, lets hope it works LOL  it didnt... *sigh*  oh well  then dude passed out and i worked on my projects all afternoon :)

were really excited to go to grammies for thanksgiving dinner on thursday, and i hope my brother and his family can make it too, because i really miss them, but im thinking it might be better for them to not travel tomorrow considering the snow were supposed to get slammed with!!  and S. was supposed to work tomorrow, but now hes not :)  so hes excited to get some real hunting in before the season ends, and hes excited to take dude out in the snow tomorrow <3  me? even though i want this baby girl to get here, im kind of hoping she dosnt decide to come tomrorrow LOL 

the other day S. said to me "im so glad i got out of the marine corps, its awesome being able to spend so much time with dude, and i wouldnt have been able to do that if i was still in..."  i gotta say, i feel the same way <3

speaking of dude, his obsession with "jungle book" has moved into an obsession with "despereaux"  its pretty funny actually!  he will sit for the entire movie, silent, with his feet crossed, and his hands clasped <3  but then, within the last few days, his obsession has grown to include "300"  (i recently bought it for S. :)  and he asks for both movies alllll day long!! :D  weve had to start putting our metaphorical foot down and telling him no...just so we dont go crazy hearing "despereaux" dialogue all day every day LOL  annnd now we even have to say no to watching "300" just because its starting to get boring...in my opinion at least LOL :)

im thinking in a few weeks, im going to be doing a lot of double takes whenever i walk past a mirror LOL  even S. has said its going to be funny seeing me with a flat belly again :)  but i do think its funny that i can no longer wash dishes without getting my belly wet at the same time...and the whole clumsiness, running my belly into things is getting kind of old LOL :D

annnnnnnd i only have 16 days until my due date!! :D

<3 <3 <3

peace

sooooo, you know that Pampers commercial that is usually played around the holidays? where the lady is singing "sleep in heavenly peace..." and they show a bunch of ridiculously adorable babies sleeping?  yeahhhhh, i just saw it for the first time this season....and it still kills me!  oh wow am i ready for baby girl to get here so i can see her!!! :D

and a question thats been on my mind for a while now...does a parent EVER stop watching their child sleep?  because i feel like i could watch dud sleep for hours.....and its NOT because im so happy that hes being quiet LOL!!!!  :D

i L.O.V.E LOOOOVE having "real" internet again!!  :D  talk about extraordinarily convenient AND helpful with my recent venture!! :D

however, it sucks when you get home from work (and its already dark because of the awesome time change) and the power is out......all over the ENTIRE town!!  yeahhhhhh.....this is the FOURTH time that S. and i have lost power while living here.....twice it was because the entire town was out (and it was incredibly WEIRD to the point that you think zombies are going to jump out at any second or something...) once because of the awesome downed tree during "irene" and the other time was in the winter, so thats to be expected.  needless to say, S. and i have both enthusiastically agreed that one of our first purchases when we move into a house...is going to be aaaaaaa.......GENERATOR!!! 

i had such a great time christmas shopping with mom and nana and dude on sunday!! :)  i got so much stuff, that really all i have to do now is get the "big" presents for dude and baby girl :)  oh yeahhhhh and the other half of my present for S. :P  annnnnnnnd i fell in love with a.c moore...and i had forgotten how much i love target......i definately have to go to that area for shopping way more often.

saturday....dude went hunting with S.......and proved that he is definately not the ideal hunting partner!!  :D  he was sitting on S.s shoulders when they walked up on some deer, and before S. went to get dude down so he could take a shot....he said "_____, shhh...look...deer..."  dudes response?  to yell at the top of his lungs "HEY!  HEY DEER!"  LMAO!!!  how funny is that???  S. KNEW he probably wouldnt actually get anything while out with dude, but its still hilarious :D  S. just loves to take dude out, no matter what...they also had a "picnic" while laying in the grass together looking at the clouds, and dude goes out with S. so much he can now recognize different tracks, and names off trees, its awesome :D

thennnn later that day....dude was being realllly super quiet while he was playing upstairs...i know i probably should have gone up to see him and what he was doing, but when i called up to him...he came right to the stairs and smiled at me, and came back down and continued playing, so i didnt think anything of it until S. and i went to bed that night....i walked into our room and my instant reaction? "ohhhhhhh *GASP*"  S. runs in....and we both start LAUGHING hysterically at the same time!!  dude, the most helpful little guy ever, had taken ALLLLLL of his baby sisters clothes out of the dresser i have set up for her in our room, next to the cradle, and piled them all onto our bed!!!  :D   im talking about 5 drawers full of baby clothes.... all we could do was laugh <3  at least it wasnt lavendar scented baby oil :D

speaking of baby girl...shes not moving so much lately...gathering energy? ohhhh yeah!!  theres lots of rolling...and trying to push her way out of the side of my belly with her knees and toes though!  my 37 week check up is tomorrow :)  and i have....21? days left :D

imagine that....k.s mom is apparently already over being NICE...because when S. finally got through on her cell phone sunday night (he couldnt call the house because of connection problems)  she was a COMPLETE bitch  "its not between 2 and 3:30....and youre not supposed to be calling her on my phone anyway, and im at choir practice..."  surprise surprise....shes changed her attitude AGAIN   seriously, she NEEDS medication.  and can we talk about how much of a hypocrite she is??  choir practice? really?  how drunk did you get saturday night?  im not a fan of sunday religious people..... and can we also talk about the fact that your daughter just had a tosilectomy on THURSDAY??  why arent you still home with her?  i dont care if shes already feeling "better"....oh thats right, because you have k.s GREAT GRANDMOTHER to watch your daughter for you.....wow. thats fair for everyone....

so lets recap....k.s mom hates S. and me....then lets S. talk to k. wednesday night before her surgery, then she texts me on thursday, then she lets S. talk to k. thursday night even though she had said she wasnt going to let S. talk to her, then shes mad again on sunday.....wow, thats a full 180 degrees of emotion in one week.  yup, i called it.

besides all that.....

my knitting bag is constantly at my side LOL

i love it when dude wants to wake up at 5:30 am.....but goes back to sleep for another hour and half :D

my belly is SOOO round its hysterical!!!  it honestly looks like ive got a basketball under my shirt at all times....but no stretch marks!!!!

and i guess its time to get going for the day :D

{{21 DAYS}}

<3 <3 <3

More Background Info, Including the Roller Coaster Actions of a Childish Mom

before i get started, i would like to say this.....

k.s mom thinks that she is now "LETTING" me care about k., and "LETTING" me be involved in k.s life??

seriously??

when S. and i first started talking in april 2008, i knew that he had a daughter and that he and the mom would be getting a divorce as soon as he got home from iraq.  was i a little nervous about getting involved with someone who had such a young child (K.turned 2 a few days after S. and i started talking)?  yeah, but thats to be expected.  S. and i actually discussed what our plan of action should be for how long we should wait before i actually MET k., because S. didnt want to introduce someone to k. who wasnt going to be a permanent part of her life (*ahem* at this point i would like to remind you all that k.s mom has introduced so many guys to k., that S. and i have STOPPED counting...)  and when i moved down to NC, i was still nervous, but S. knew that k. would love me, and k. and i got along AWEsome :)  what was the problem?  ill give you one guess....

since i first moved in with S. and became a permanent part of k.s life, k.s mom has CONTINUOUSLY changed her mind about how she feels about it.  when i first moved down there, S. and i were invited to supper at her house, she had no problem whatsoever with me coming into the house with S. to pick up and drop off k....what changed??  im not really sure, but im thinking that k.s moms bipolar tendencies kicked in. 

she would like me, she would be ok with me being around...then a few weeks later she would change her mind and i was not allowed to have anything to do with k., she would tell S. that i wasnt even allowed in her driveway....  and this is the way that its been since.  for a while i wasnt allowed to come in the house.  then she wanted me to make k.s birthday cake for her 3rd birthday party.....then she wanted me to babysit k. while she went to class.....and she sent me emails telling me that she actually feels safer dropping k. off with S. because she knows that im there, and she sees that i care about k. and take care of her......then she taught k. to call me a "bitch" and literally threatened to not finalize hers and S.s divorce if i didnt take the picture i had of k. down from my myspace!!  can anyone say "childish" ??  (she would claim that she didnt want me to have pictures of k. up because she didnt know what kind of friends i had....yeah....i found pictures on the internet of k. being given a bath by the moms current boyfriend...and this picture showed all of k. if you know what i mean....i have always had my pictures private (except for ones that i dont care if the world sees them)  i found this picture of k. on the internet...so dont say anything to me about "privacy"........ )  k.s mom would continuously tell me that IM not k.s mom (no shit) and that i had no say whatsoever in how k. was raised or what her mom did with her.....k.s mom would continuously tell me that i shouldnt have gotten involved with a man who already had a child if i wasnt ready to deal with the mom also.....it got really silly, really fast. 

when i moved back up to maine during S.s second deployment.....k.s mom wanted to bring k. to maine (with her current husband) to meet dude after he was born!!!  i said no, because there was no way that S.s ex wife and her new husband were going to meet dude before he could!!  i said we could set up a skype date for k. to see dude...did it happen? no because the mom thought it would be too confusing for k....way to go underestimating your daughters intelligence.

since S. has come back from iraq, since he and i and dude have moved back to maine, things have gotten worse. 

there were times that k.s mom wouldnt let me OR dude talk to k. on the phone, she threatened to hang up the phone if S. even ASKED k. if she wanted to talk to me.  k.s mom is ok with the fact that k. blames DUDE for S. moving way.  she has threatened to put a restraining order on me so that i cant go near "her" house if we ever come down to visit because dude and i have no reason to be around "her" house......and there have been so many other silly situations that i cant even think about them all right now......

annnnnnnnnd suddenly......k.s mom is the sweetest thing imaginable and decides to keep ME "updated" on k.s progress during her tonsilectomy surgery this past thursday......seriously??  yup, she sent a text saying that k. was giggling hysterically because of the drugs as she was going into surgery.....i told her that S. was at work and to not send me text messages and that she could talk to S. when he got home....she went off about how shes "LETTING" me CARE about k. and her life, about how if i dont want to care about k. with her, then that was my problem......seriously??

ready for my take on the situation??

has this whole situation between me, S., k., and k.s mom been difficult on me since day one?  yeah, it has

i spent A LOT of time with k. while i was living in NC, and im extraordinarily attached to the girl, S. would have visitation with her for a few hours every thursday night, and every other saturday....i saw that little girl grow up...hung out with her, saw her silly side, k. even got to the point where she wanted to call my mom to talk to her, k. would even listen to me when i disciplined her, i was the one making sure that S. didnt give her any more candy or sweet stuff because it was almost supper time, i picked out presents for her, buckled her into her car seat, she would tell me that she loved me.....do i consider k. my daughter? no, but she WILL be my step-daughter one day.  have i done all the things with k. that a mom does with their child? no, i admit that, i NEVER claimed that i wanted to be k.s MOM or that i was trying to take the place of her mom.

so when i have some stupid, bipolar bitch, continuously accusing me of trying to take her place, and telling me to get my own family, well, thats when im just done.

i dont need k.s mom to LET me CARE about k., I DO CARE about k., but that dosnt mean that i need to talk to YOU about her.  i can get information from S. thanks so much.  i dont need you to LET me INTO k.s life....i AM a part of her life, whether you care to admit it or not.....  dont sit there, thinking youre an awesome mom, when youre not.  dont sit there and accuse ME of being the one causing problems in this situation, because im NOT.  i dont sit in the background during conversations that S. is having with k. and run my mouth (yes, occasionally i tell S. he should ask k. about school, or whatever holiday, and suggest things to talk about, and yes i have shouted out that k.s mom is a bitch (when we were on the phone with k.s mom, not while talking to k.).......but k.s mom is ALWAYS on the phone, talking to S. more than k. does, because she is still underestimating her 5 year old daughters intelligence and thinks that S. and k. will have nothing to talk about).  when was the last time i actually talked to k.? hmmm, a few weeks ago, before that? maybe a month.....before that?  who knows....i have stopped being upset by this....because im a hard hearted bitch? nope, because i know that k.s mom is feeding her complete bullshit, and that some day, thank god, k. will realize what truly happened between her mom and dad and me.  S. knows how i feel about his daughter, he knows that i care about her and love her and want the best for her, that i worry about her and the situation shes in by living with her mom and the revolving front door, S. knows these things, and soon k. will too, and thats whats important right now. 

i refuse to walk around on eggshells, wondering what kind of mood k.s mom will be in that particular week.  i refuse to continuously adjust my mood and ways of thinking to k.s mom and how she feels about me that particular week.  i was over her fucking roller coaster attitude a looooong time ago....just like im sure a lot of people around her get tired of it....i was tired of her stupid games a loooong time ago.....i stopped playing a looooong time ago.  S. gets it.  he sees how the psycho bitch reacts to me, how she treats me, and has no problem whatsoever with my actions.

so do i have to be nice to her?  no

am i going to be nice to her? no

do i block out everything she says? yes :)

do i still love and care about my future step daughter? with all my heart. 



36 Weeks and Counting!

yup....

yes.....

YOU GOT IT!!!!!  :D  LOL 

S. and i are still hoping for thanksgiving weekend though LOL because we are so anxious to meet this baby girl, that 2 weeks early sounds like its ok!!  LOL 

watch, ill probably be 2 weeks late.....  :P

this girl has her fingers in a lot of pots today, actually i will for a few weeks... hehehe

besides allll of the things that S. and i need to get done around the house....ive been helping the neighbors do some stuff with their business because theyre so incredibly busy (ESPECially with christmas and all), annnnnnnd the little "project" ive been working on has taken a big leap forward!!  :)  does that mean i might be wicked crazy busy for the next few weeks (like im not already wicked crazy busy all the time?? :P )  yes it does, but i dont care because its an awesome start for me!!!!  :D 

seriously...SO. FREAKIN. EXCITED!!!! :D

wow, its saturday morning....its 5:45, and S. didnt jump out of bed to go hunting?? 

well, he IS reallllly tired ;)  LOL 

we had an awesome day yesterday! 

although dude has a little bit of a stuffy/runny nose, he was the most amazing kid at his 2 year well check!!  S. is so proud of him its so funny and cute :)  its funny when the nurse asks questions like "does ____ put 2 or 3 words together?"  honestly S. and i sat there and laughed then told the nurse, "um, he speaks in full sentences......."  then laughed some more :D  even the doctor and the nurses remarked on it :D   dude sat in daddys lap and didnt make a fuss whatsoever about the doctor looking in his eyes, ears, and mouth, and when the nurse came back to give him a shot, he didnt cry, and when another nurse had to take lots of blood from a finger prick to do the state test for lead, dude sat on daddys lap patiently the whole time talking to her!!  :)  it was actually really funny....and then when we went next door for my OB check-up (i love how conveniently placed those two doctors offices are LOL) dude told alllllll of the nurses and my doctor about the lady that took his blood :D  funny!!  everything was awesome with my doctors appointment also :)  dude sat on daddys lap again while we talked with the doctor, things are what theyre supposed to be, i now start going every week, and baby girls heartbeat is like music to me <3  dude fell asleep on the way home, S. went out hunting, i did some work for the neighbors, and then after dude went to bed, S. and i had a "date night" witth a movie we had rented :D <3

soooooo today.....we just need to do some winterizing around the house, we both need to work on specific projects, i need to get my christmas shopping list ready for tomorrow!!  (im so excited about hanging out with mom and nana all day!! :D), and i think im going to make those chocolate cookies with peanut butter chunks because i know S. would love them :) 

but for a while, im just going to sit here, enjoy the silence, and drink some more coffee, and rub my belly..... :P

ps. i LOVE the fact that i can still make my brother laugh hysterically :D  it was awesome talking to you the other day,  love you!!

HAPPY!!

Happy Birthday Marine Corps!

Happy Birthday Mom-in-Law!!

Happy Anniversary to my brother and SIL!!!

whew....i think thats all the "happys" for today LOL

what a chill day we had yesterday for dudess birthday :D  went shopping.....had peanut butter and fluff for lunch....played outside....took a nap (him, not me LOL).....and had more cake after supper with S. and i singing to him :)  dude had the funniest smile while we sang to him though, it was so cute, it almost looked like an embarassed smile hehehehe :)  outside again with daddy for a little while, then off to bed with no problem :)  it must be hard being 2....

allllllmost 36 weeks.....doctors appointment tomorrow!!!  :D 

how is it that im getting used to feeling knees and toes in my ribs?? 

cant wait to eat the yummy pot roast tonight that im going to put in the crock pot later :)

im thinking of putting together a daddy shower gift for S....

i feel kinda bad that i got so much cool stuff at my baby shower...

im not really sure what to get him though...

besides some ear plugs LOL.....

WOW!!  baby girl is going to have A LOT of clothes!!!!  :D

so, when i run around all morning, putting together information that i need to have for an important appointment, then i get to that appointment....and they dont even LOOK AT or ASK for that imformation....yeah, i find that INcredibly annoying!!

dudess birthday party on sunday was so much fun!!!  lots of craziness....over 70 balloons all over the floor will do that LOL .....there was wrapping paper flying..... everyone loved the cake that S. and i decorated :) ....... the poor guy was so exhausted that he was fast asleep on the couch by 5 LOL  then on monday dude got his present from pumpkin and granddad (S.s parents :)  its this really cool kitchen!!  S. put it together that night when he got home....well, it took a little bit longer than it should have because dude was so intent on "helping" !!!  talk about cute though!!!  dude loves the kitchen set, and yesterday i looked over and he had put soup cans on the stove burners LOL  cute

time to get going....time for breakfast for me and my man <3  :D

35/5

<3 <3 <3

To Our Son, With Love

i woke up at 5am today.....and my first thought?  what was i doing at this time 2 years ago? 

oh right,

i was crying, mumbling that i couldnt push anymore, and mom was telling me that i could,

that i was almost done! 

 then, 45 minutes later,

dude was born <3

do all moms feel nostalgic on their childrens birthdays?  it seeeeeems.....yes. 

i remember yelling at the doctor to not drop him (hehehehe :) already the protective mama bear!)  and calling S. 2 seconds later (he was in iraq on his second tour)  and all i could do was stare at our perfect son who looked exactly like S. <3

i remember talking to S. every day on skype so he could see dude.  S. would stare at him for the entire time we were on the computer, already feeling so much pride for his son :) he could NOT wait to get home to meet him!  and actually, now that i think about it....i got a nice long hug and kiss...then S. ran to dudes bed to pick him up!  and even though it was super late at night, dude was awake and waiting for S, and stared right back at him as S held him for the first time :)  he never doubted for one second S, was his daddy, and S. never doubted for one second that dude was his son.....

now, our son is 2 years old today....and S. and i still cant stop staring at our son LOL  he is so awesome, and handsome, and perfect.......have there been days when weve been frustrated as all hell? um, well, yeah, its called "parenthood" LOL  but, our son has the impeccable timing of doing something really rotten, or crazy, or daring....then smiling and hugging us so that we forget everything bad LOL  (i actually think he learned this fabulous trait from BOTH of us LOL)  were constantly seeing dude do things, that are perfect imitations of us, he leans against walls and crosses his feet like me when hes telling a story, he lowers his head and smiles like S. he has his fathers body type, wicked dark brown eyes, and mouth (with my smile :) its an awesome combination!), and my nose, and hair...........hes crazy and playful, and loves being outside like S., loves books and reading like i do.   dude is so stinkin smart....obviously he gets that from both of us LOL  hes already reading, and talks and tells stories in full sentences, knows all his colors, different types of trees and trucks, and so many other things that we could go on and on about it......acually both S. and i could talk nonstop about dude....and sometimes we do LOL 

so, actually, since we could go on forever, and write so much more about dude,

well wrap this up.....

duder,

we love you,

and were so incredibly blessed to have you in our lives. dont ever stop doing all the crazy things you do, because all those things, are what makes you ....... YOU!!  LOL 

and whatever your father and i might say.... we LIKE being kept on our toes...and thats what you do LOL

<3 <3 <3

what a ridiculously childish, selfish b*tch

soooooo, S.s daughter k. needs to get her tonsils out, and her surgery is next thursday......

S. texted k.s mom yesterday to let her know he could call k. either before 2 on sunday, or later that night since dudess birthday party is at 2...and k.s mom called back (it was interesting that she wasnt at work at 1 in the afternoon...) k.s mom says....."you can call at 1 since were going to be at the airport at 2 anyways to pick up my sister" (first of all, nice of you to give us some heads up, im pretty sure she wouldnt have let S. know to NOT call at 2 since k. will be so distracted) then k.s mom reminds S. that k. will be going for surgery on thursday, so S says "yes, i know, so ill also be calling on wednesday night and thursday night...."  the moms response..."you can call wednesday night but if you call on thursday im not answering the phone because k. wont be able to talk anyway."    

yeah, we KNOW k. wont be able to talk, but she can STILL HEAR right???

so whats wrong with S. calling his daughter to tell her he loves her after she gets out of surgery? 

yeah i dont know either...

S. TELLS k.s mom this, she says...she dosnt care, shes still not answering the phone because....and this is the good one....SHE DOSNT WANT TO LISTEN TO HER SISTER BITCH ABOUT S.....um really????  apparently her sister HATES S......does he care? um no.....S. hasnt SEEN much less TALKED to his ex sister in law in over 2 years....so maybe she should get over her issues....or MAYBE you could tell your sister to shut the hell up, because S has every right to talk to his daughter after surgery!!!!

S. asked WHERE k. was going to be having surgery, he got lots of attitude from k.s mom, then, when he asked for it, SHE WOULDNT EVEN GIVE S. THE PHONE NUMBER OF THE SURGERY CENTER!!!  i mean, REALLY??!!  what the f*ck is her problem???  i guess shes going to be too busy with her boyfriend and her sister there with her, that she dosnt want S. calling her cell phone to TALK TO HIS DAUGHTER!!!!

k.s mom seriously needs to f*cking GROW UP and f*cking get OVER HERSELF and realize that SHE is the one making this a stressful situation for k.....

all S. wants to do is tell k. that he loves her....

way to go being a f*cking awesome mom and realizing that......

powerful stuff ;)

i admit it. 

im freaking out, just a little. LOL 

35 weeks baby!!!!! 

and for those of you not counting,

that means only 5 more weeks!!  :D

ohhhhh halloween :)  you were interesting this year LOL

i had dude dressed and ready to go by 5 so we could go as soon as S. got home :)  he was soooo excited!!  S., not dude LOL  dude knew something different was going on, but he didnt realize until everyone started giving him candy, that this night was for HIM LOL :D  so, our little sheriff walked around town, not even paying attention to the other kids, intent on saying "happy halloween" and "trick or treat" and grabbing as much candy as possible, he was so sweet and of course said "thank you" at every single house <3  so S. and i froze our butts off, and S. carried dude back to the truck at the end of the night (7pm!! *gasp*!!  LOL)  i made a quick supper while dude bounced off the walls LOL and then he surprisingly PASSED out as soon as S. started reading him a bedtime story <3  what a good night!!

im very excited to decorate dudes birthday cake <3

and S.....surprised the hell out of me and now he wants to help decorate the cake!!  LOL  it MIGHT have something to do with the fact that we picked out some military toys for cake toppers....but WHATever!!!!  (i actually think it would have been the same if we had picked out animals and 4wheelers!!)  S. wants to help decorate his sons cake and thats all that matters!!  <3

its cool hearing people talk about how smart and advanced dude is <3 

even S. is blown away because hes never seen anything like it :D

i cleaned out dudes toy box in our living room the other day, since his party is on sunday....wow was that a task LOL  so most of his toys went upstairs to his bedroom because.....the dude has figured out how to climb over the gate that we had blocking off the stairs... *sigh*  needless to say, we just took the gate down...he does AWEsome on the stairs, scootches on his butt, the whole nine yards, its just that i was in complete shock the first time i watched him actually do it LOL  he had done it once before the other day....but hadnt tried again, thennnnnnnnn he did, with a VERY proud smile on his face by the way :D 

so now our son has complete run of the house, and SOMEtimes tries to procrastinate what needs to be done by saying "go upstairs"  but of course it dosnt fly LOL

then....that night...we were pretty sure we heard dude fall out of his crib...HE DIDNT thank goodness, you shouldve seen how fast S. ran up there (ill be glad when I can move that fast again LOL) but he was definately trying to climb out....so another birthday present the dude is getting? 

a big boy bed this weekend <3

i love when i go to get dude out of bed in the morning, and he points out all the books that daddy read to him the night before <3

i found an awesome knitting pattern for leg warmers on ravelry the other day!!!  im so excited to try it out!!

um, actually, i found A LOT of really cool patterns that i cant wait to try out LOL!!!!

right now, dude is laying some of his little figurines down on the floor (a smurf, a yellow robot, a dragon) and pretending to change their "diapers"  while pulling out the box of wipes. yup, its wicked cute :)

anyways, i guess thats it for now...ive got a bunch of things to do today to get ready for tomorrow :D