4.16.2012

feeding your kids like a bird?

so. this story was in the news...a few...weeks ago?  yeahhhhh i mentioned my writers block in my last blog right?  well, sometimes when i see funny stuff, or something funny happens, i write notes and get back to it later.  in this case A LOT later. whatever.

alicia silverstone was shown on the news feeding her son like a bird.  yes.  as in the food was in her mouth, then she spit the food INTO HER SONS MOUTH.

what. the. fuck

look, i am in no way saying that i am the worlds greatest mom by any means.  i yell sometimes.  i get very frustrated sometimes.  sometimes, i even SPOON food into my 2 year old sons mouth because hes being incredibly wicked stubborn and wont finish his peas but i know that if i PUT the peas into his mouth with his spoon...he will eat them. with gusto.  but what i witnessed this woman doing was just...gross

have i wiped snot from my sons nose? yes.  have i stuck my face near his butt to figure out whether or not hes shit his pants? yes.  have i wiped pee from his leg with my hand because it was the closest thing available while hes peeing into the toilet, and he ended up peeing on his leg instead, then washed my hands after? yes. have i gotten shit on my hand while trying to change his dirty underwear while we were potty training him? yes. are all of these things pretty friggen gross? yup, ill admit. with gusto.  they are ALL things that i honestly never thought that i would be doing while i was in that blissfully ignorant state of my first pregnancy.....but these things happen. 

but as much as i love my children with all my heart, i will never. feed. them. from. my. own. mouth.

well, maybe if it was the end of the world-apocalypse-type shit going on and i needed a way to feed princess or something. i guess someone can never really say "never."

so i will say that i would never do this on any regular, run-of -the-mill day.

a comment that one doctor had to say about this?  the human mouth is one of the dirtiest things in the world.

another comment?  what are you really doing for your kid? oh yeah, youre not helping him learn how to feed himself.  you know, thats a pretty important skill to have nowadays.

i dont care if your son likes the soup you were eating. get him a fucking spoon and teach him to use it.  who cares if the area surrounding you and your son gets covered in soup in the process?  trust me, he'll figure it out eventually.

the only other thing i have to say on this subject?  that if this is the new trend, well hell.....im way ahead of the friggen trend because to be completely honest with you, i was doing this shit when my son was about 11 months old.  this was the result.




nailed that shit. dead. on.






obviously im joking.  get a sense of humor.  S. and I actually teach our kids to feed themselves regardless of the ridiculously horrible end result.  was a bath necessary?  oh yeah.  there was no way that a washcloth was going to make a dent in that mess. 

but hey, thats parenting.

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