sadly, the ridiculousness continues....dosnt everyone love drama coming from pathetic exes?

there has been so much happening with S.s ex wife, that there is no way i could possibly keep up with it all on here....but this past sunday we had the most marvelous conversation with her through text message and that conversation definitely deserves a blog!

a little background for the past few months?  its probably necessary....

you would really have to read my past blogs to get the real sense of this ridiculously pathetic girl...how sad and how desperate she is...how much she is not helping S. and his daughter K. maintain any sort of relationship.  lets sum up:  S. and the x. seperated in march of 2008, S. and i started dating online since he was serving his first tour in iraq at the time (yes, she told him she wanted a divorce while he was in iraq, how awesome.)  when he came home, i moved to north carolina to be with S. we have now been together for 4 years and have two amazing children together, and moved to maine in 2010  S. has not seen his daughter since then.  the x.  has asked S. to come back to her. she has repeatedly blocked our phone  number so that S. cannot call his daughter, and instead of fostering a relationship between S. and K, the x. has made things worse.  instead of encouraging her daughter to talk to S.  she has insisted that S. come to north carolina to visit K (and stay in their house) or that K. comes to maine....as long as the x. comes also, even once offering to stay in our house so that we wouldnt have to pay for a hotel room for her.... ???  i find it unnecessary to say much more, i think its obvious that the x. is not only crazy,  but she is also a total bitch.

the latest string of events?  ohhhh where do i start?   i guess it started a month or so ago, when the x. spent her friday night emailing me trying to convince me that she is a good mother and that she has never kept anything from S. about K. and her health.  even though we had recently found out that this poor little girl had to be tested for STDs because she had an infection in her uterous.  she also valiantly tried to get under my skin by talking (again) about how i must feel pretty crappy because S. hasnt married me after 4 years...so what if were engaged?  apparently she thinks that shes pretty special because she got knocked up at 15 and S. married her....? 

if i was her, i wouldnt brag.

the x. is refusing to let S. call K.  our phone number has now been blocked from their house for the past 2 or 3 months....how mature.  the x. is saying that if he wants to talk to K. it can be over skype.  S. has never had a problem with the idea of skyping with K...he just didnt want to see the x. during the conversation he was supposed to be having with K.  because the x. didnt like that, and probably because she wanted to gaze upon the face of the love of her life... skype has never happened.....when S. and the x. were finally able to agree on the situation and a time, it came down to S. would skype with K. on her 6th birthday......the x. then tried the next day to change the time because she had so conveniently forgotten that K. was supposed to be in a gymnastics class at the original agreed upon time.  S. wasnt impressed, and long story short, the skype conversation didnt happen. 

S. also didnt find it necessary to send a birthday present to K.  after the bullshit that he went through at christmas time with her presents, and the x. threatening to not give the presents to K....S. is pretty sure that K. would never receive his presents, or they would be passed off as from the x. 

it has been 3 weeks since K.s birthday....and there have been no phone calls....no communication.  this past sunday, S. sent a text to the x....this is the conversation:

S: I would like to talk to K. today.  What are the chances of that happening?

bitch: Why? You couldnt be bothered to call her on her birthday.  Or even the day after.  You crushed her.  Its been 3 weeks and she is just now ok from the realization that you didnt call.

S: Forget i fucking asked. 
(this is when she went crazy)

bitch: Im not going to ask her just because for thirty seconds youre feeling guilty.  Its not fair to her.  Especially after her birthday and with Fathers Day coming up.  Its not an easy time for a little girl who dosnt have a father willing to give her the world and doing everything he can to be there for her.  Do you understand that?  How it affects her?  Its awful for her.

bitch: Theyre making Fathers Day gifts at school.  And her teacher and I gave K. the option to give it to someone else.  And she decided all on her own that she was going to have an Uncles Day instead and send her gift to Uncle F____ whom she misses very much.

bitch: And when she realized you didnt call for her birthday, she got ridiculously mad.  So mad that when she was put to bed, she refused to go to sleep.  Instead, she took a marker to all of her furniture and drew black x's all over everything.  And she has never done something like that out of anger.  And you can not blame her for being angry.

my response since S was driving?

Lol ok well at least shes straight edge.  Tell F____ we say happy uncles day :)


needless to say, there were no more text messages from her!

some more background information?  F. is one of the many men that the x. has had living at her house since she told S. she wanted a divorce.

lets analyze.  if that phone call had been so important to K. she would have realized that S. hadnt called that day...instead, she didnt realize it until a few days later.  the x. claims that she asks K. all the time if she wants to talk to daddy, but K. always refuses.  so, either the x. isnt really asking, or K. really dosnt want to talk to S...in which case, she shouldnt have been so mad about missing the phone call on her birthday.  it has been over 2 years since S. and K. have seen each other....does S. want to see K.? of course he does....yes he has serious doubts as to whether or not K. is actually his, but he has still thought of K. as his daughter for the past 6 years.  another point.....since it has been so long since K. has seen her daddy...or even talked to him for that matter...how can it be considered S.s fault that K. drew black x's all over everything? really? he has had no influence over K. in a long time... its not like they talked and S. was mean to her or something....reasonably, it should have been just another day for K. that she didnt talk to her daddy.  how can a child be so miserable when she just had a birthday party?  maybe the x, if she really wants some sort of healing time for K, should take down the pics of S. in Ks room, and more importantly, maybe the x should take down the wedding pictures of her and S. that she has in her bedroom!  what a novel idea!!  how sad and pathetic is it that this girl cannot move on from the man that she decided to divorce and still has their wedding picture beside her bed? one of the saddest examples of the x not moving on?  she has "tagged" a picture, on her facebook page, of S. and K.together, and the caption reads "the loves of my life"  HAHAHAHA  really??? all she ever did was talk about how crappy of a husband S. was....it is SAD that she still says that S. is the love of her life....i feel so sorry for her!!  S. even at one point removed this picture from his page, and she REtagged it!!  why?  who knows?  im assuming its because shes crazy.   maybe if K. sees her mom finally moving on, so will she, and she wont hurt anymore.....or you know, maybe the x. could stop having a revolving door at her house and stop being a slut and stop introducing a new man into K.s life every other month.  i think its time that the x starts looking inside her own house to find out why K. is so miserable.

other things to analyze:  WHY are there markers in K.s bedroom when its already known that she has a tendency to draw on her things?  why are the markers not in an area of the house, where she cant get them by herself?  but thats just me.  also.....was every child from a divorced home at that school given the option to give their gifts to someone else?  way to go singling K. out.  aslo, like i said earlier, S. feels extraordinarily detached from K. because the x. has done nothing to foster a relationship (i think i just emphasized that point) does the x really think shes going to hurt S.s  feelings by telling him this?  once we found out that the x had actually started sleeping with other guys before S. left for iraq, S. is wondering even more seriously if K is his daughter.  when S. left for bootcamp in 2005, the x (at that time his girlfriend) started spending an awful lot of time with some other guy...and when we pulled up pictures of him, wow.....K. looks more like that guy than she looks like S.....miraculously, as soon as S. left for bootcamp, the x was knocked up.....way to go trapping a man.

guess what?  i never had to "trap" S.  never.  we decided to.geth.er. to get pregnant.  have S. and i been through a lot of shit, yup.  ive never denied that.  but we are at a point now, where we can communicate effectively and hardly ever argue anymore.  the last argument we had?  it was a few weeks ago and for some reason one day we both had a hair across our asses and we couldnt agree on what pair of shoes to buy for princess.  seriously. we laughed about it later.   we dont get mad at each other and then one of us goes and spends the night in the walmart parking lot in our truck because we need to think things over.  yes, this is what the x did one night with her second husband....she got annoyed at him, then left him at the house with K. and spent the night in her car, the next day telling her husband she wanted a divorce (number 2) after being married for....3 months?  way to go trying to work through your problems. 

some other interesting information?  to tell you all, just so were all clear on the subject....its not S.  that refuses to marry me...he asked me to marry him after we had been talking on the phone for a month...he and i both knew from the moment we met that we were meant to be together.  S. would marry me tomorrow....we have not married yet because of ME...I have been the one saying "not yet", because i want a real huge blow out beautiful wedding...not a justice of the peace wedding, which by the way, the x has had 2 of.  is there anything  wrong with a JOP wedding? no of course not, but its not what i want. i find it hilarious that the x thinks she can get under my skin and make me feel bad about the fact that S and i havent married yet while he married her while she was pregnant. um, nope. try again sweetheart.  it must really suck for her, to know, deep down, that he married her only because she was pregnant.  he felt bad for her, and knew that there was no way she would ever make it on her own...because she was, and still is, so immature. 

in short....S. and i have come to realize, that there is no forward progress when youre arguing with a pathetic little girl who can not see that she is also to blame.  she is continuously blaming S.talking about how abusive he was (where are the police reports), saying that it was the best for her daughter to get a divorce (yes, shes so happy isnt she?), saying that S. should be spending all his money on K. and coming down to see her (because, you know, S. dosnt have another family that actually loves him or anything and he needs to think of them first).  this sad little girl will never be able to move on, and she will never be able to accept any blame.

its really sad, and really hysterical all at the same time!  S. and i feel nothing but pity for this sad excuse of a mother....and look forward to the day when we can explain to K. ourselves what really happened.

i almost threw up while writing this one

*WARNING* 

this blog is about the death of a 2.5 month old baby and will be somewhat explicit.  if you feel you will have any problems while reading this, you should stop now. 

seriously.

yes, it is the end of may, obviously i have had problems with keeping up my resolve to write more often, sue me.  and honestly, it has taken me some time to write this blog because it literally makes me sick to my stomach just thinking of this man and what he did.

at the beginning of may, as i was sitting down to supper with S. and dude eating sandwiches and watching the news, a horrible, horrible story came on....and while listening, i literally put my sandwich down and almost had to run to the bathroom before i threw up all over the rug.  it was close.  no, i didnt throw up, but then i almost burst into tears..... i couldnt finish my supper to say the least.  and i hugged my kids extra that night, and every day and night since i heard about this.

there was a man, whos girlfriend had recently given birth to their twin babies.  this man was having problems adjusting to parenthood, and one day, he became frustrated because one of the twins wouldnt stop crying. so, in anger, the man picked this 2.5 month old baby up by his head, squeezed his head, then threw him into a nearby chair, hearing the babys neck snap as he landed.

if i saw this man in person, i wouldnt even ask him what the fuck was going through his head.  i would just fucking tear him apart and spit on him.  literally.

this poor, defenseless, small angel, had severe brain damage, and died in the hospital a few days later.

if you would like more information, here is a link:

 http://bangordailynews.com/2012/05/11/news/portland/arundel-man-makes-first-court-appearance-in-death-of-2%C2%BD-month-old-son/

my heart is breaking as im writing this, and i want to bawl, and throw up.

how. the. fuck. can any person do something so fucking heinous??
 (yes, i do apoligize for my stronger than usual language, but i feel this situation warants a lot of swearing.)

i understand that some people have a hard time adjusting to parenthood.  i know how trying it can be.  i know that somedays i want to go crazy from hearing "right ma?"  a million times from my son.  yes S. and i are ridiculously tired somedays, yes we are frustrated somedays and we may yell at dude, or spank him when he is being completely out of line. but, we also go to great lengths to protect our children and make sure that they are happy and tickled often and as happy as we can possibly make them.  there are times (just about every night actually) that i stare at my babies just to make sure that they are still breathing because it is my worst fear that something will ever happen to them. 

how can any person resort to something so disgusting as to kill their own child??

its not only women who can suffer from post partum depression, yes men can have it too.  having a baby is a huge change.  but if there is any one out there who is feeling so frustrated that they are thinking about hurting someone so small, they need to seek immediate help.  there are so many places that will give you help, thats what theyre there for.  ladies, you need to be attentive to the man in your life, whether he is the father of your child(ren) or not, and see how he handles these situations....and the same goes for men.  they need to pay attention to how women are handling new parenthood because sadly, women sometimes go to these lengths also.  at this point, even though my heart breaks for the mother of this baby, i also blame her.  this man had also at one point fractured the same babys arm while changing his diaper because he was frustrated that the baby wasnt "cooperating."  um.  really?  how did the mother not see at this point that drastic measures had to be taken? 

parents need to remember something....when you look at your child, one of the first things that should always go through your mind is...."he/she is so small, so fragile." 

we may feel our kids are rough and tumble when they reach a certain age, but they are still smaller than us.

there is something that my parents and grandparents always say....and even though sometimes when im tired and frustrated its annoying to hear it again, i know deep down that they are right......"a baby crying is a good thing, because it means its alive and healthy."  they are right.  your child is the most amazing gift you could ever receive.  i was hugging my son before bed tonight and as i was smelling him all sunshine and sunscreen and peanut butter, all i coud think was, "you are the most amazing thing in the world."   as i play with my daughter, who just cut her first tooth and smiles back at me with my smile and smells like the nasty formula smell all i can think is "you are the most amazing thing in the world." 

how can any parent not feel the same way? 

i think i may have to stop writing, before i go on for hours and hours about children and how they should be treated with love and respect and handled like the precious cargo they are. 

this man, however, this man who killed his own son?  he is a piece of shit.  i honestly hope he dies in prison, and rots for eternity in hell.  there are very few things i will make such a strong statement about, so i hope that you who know me personally, will see how strongly i feel about this subject.

go hug your babies extra tonight, and every day from now on and thank whatever god you want that you were able to receive such an amazing gift.  and remember this when they cry, or theyre annoying, or youre tired....they are smaller than you and they are all of the best parts of you.