feeding your kids like a bird?

so. this story was in the news...a few...weeks ago?  yeahhhhh i mentioned my writers block in my last blog right?  well, sometimes when i see funny stuff, or something funny happens, i write notes and get back to it later.  in this case A LOT later. whatever.

alicia silverstone was shown on the news feeding her son like a bird.  yes.  as in the food was in her mouth, then she spit the food INTO HER SONS MOUTH.

what. the. fuck? 

look, i am in no way saying that i am the worlds greatest mom by any means.  i yell sometimes.  i get very frustrated sometimes.  sometimes, i even SPOON food into my 2 year old sons mouth because hes being incredibly wicked stubborn and wont finish his peas but i know that if i PUT the peas into his mouth with his spoon...he will eat them. with gusto.  but what i witnessed this woman doing was just...gross. 

have i wiped snot from my sons nose? yes.  have i stuck my face near his butt to figure out whether or not hes shit his pants? yes.  have i wiped pee from his leg with my hand because it was the closest thing available while hes peeing into the toilet, and he ended up peeing on his leg instead, then washed my hands after? yes. have i gotten shit on my hand while trying to change his dirty underwear while we were potty training him? yes. are all of these things pretty friggen gross? yup, ill admit. with gusto.  they are ALL things that i honestly never thought that i would be doing while i was in that blissfully ignorant state of my first pregnancy.....but these things happen. 

but as much as i love my children with all my heart, i will never. feed. them. from. my. own. mouth.

well, maybe if it was the end of the world-apocalypse-type shit going on and i needed a way to feed princess or something. i guess someone can never really say "never."

so i will say that i would never do this on any regular, run-of -the-mill day.

a comment that one doctor had to say about this?  the human mouth is one of the dirtiest things in the world.

another comment?  what are you really doing for your kid? oh yeah, youre not helping him learn how to feed himself.  you know, thats a pretty important skill to have nowadays.

i dont care if your son likes the soup you were eating. get him a fucking spoon and teach him to use it.  who cares if the area surrounding you and your son gets covered in soup in the process?  trust me, he'll figure it out eventually.

the only other thing i have to say on this subject?  that if this is the new trend, well hell.....im way ahead of the friggen trend because to be completely honest with you, i was doing this shit when my son was about 11 months old.  this was the result.

nailed that shit. dead. on.

obviously im joking.  get a sense of humor.  S. and I actually teach our kids to feed themselves regardless of the ridiculously horrible end result.  was a bath necessary?  oh yeah.  there was no way that a washcloth was going to make a dent in that mess. 

but hey, thats parenting.

a disappointing start to the lawn/garage sale season

ive been suffering from major writers block lately....maybe not writers block...maybe...laziness?  maybe at the end of the night when the kids are sleeping id rather have a beer?  yeah, maybe.  maybe ill just completely blame pinterest.  yup.  that would make more sense.  if there is anyone out there that has not at least looked at this sight...well, im impressed by your will power. it is obviously a lot better than my own.  this sight can suck the living soul out of you..or at least it seems that way when you look up from your computer and realize that youve been looking at recipes and crafts that in all likelihood you will never do.  i justify my pinterest obsession by saying..."yes, i did make that one brussel sprouts dish, and it was amazing."  i should do more of these things that i pin.  so i will keep pinning on the off chance ill ever have the time to get around to it in between bottles and changing diapers and washing laundry and picking up the crayons that my son has yet again thrown all over the living room.

i will try harder to write more often.....

anyways.

last week as i was perusing the local online newspaper (in between pinning recipes for cheesecake) i came across the first major garage sale of the "season".  it was actually considered a "moving" sale...but oh holy god they had one item advertised that made my heart sing out for S. because he has been wanting this for so long...a chainsaw!!!  i almost woke him up...but refrained.  i knew he would be wicked excited, not only because he might be able to pick up yet another tool cheaply, but also because i know that he actually loves lawn sales as much as i do and its a major indication that summer is truly around the corner.  so i told him when he woke up.  his eyes lit up like it was christmas.  i swear to god.  soooooooo we planned all week to go to this lawn sale on saturday (thank goodness he had the day off!) even though the sale was officially starting at 8am (*gasp*).  on saturday morning, we all got up early (well, princess slept like her normal dead-log self, so we put her into her carseat and packed a bottle) and hit the road, picking up dunkin donuts on the way.  the dude was ecstatic to say the least.  hes as much a sucker for donuts as his dad is.  we got to that friggen lawn sale 10 minutes early...and everything was already GONE. including the much coveted chainsaw.  *tear*  not only was everything gone (except for some records, a bread machine, and some tupperware) but there were so many people there that we checked our car clock to make sure we werent late!  it was crazy!  im pretty sure that we werent the only family in the area eagerly anticipating the start of lawn sale season.  S. even went up to the couple who were selling everything and asked about the chainsaw.  this mans response?  "oh, people have been coming by all week.  it was one of the first things to go."  um. seriously?  how is it that you advertise something like this, then sell things during the week before the actual sale.  look, i understand that youre trying to make money and get rid of your shit because youre moving.  but, come on.  jeez.  he probably could have made more money if he set up some sort of auction for that freaking chainsaw.  we were so disappointed in this garage sale, that we drove around town for the next half hour or so hoping with all our hearts that someone else maybe, possibly, was having a garage sale too.  no such luck.  one of the good things about this major disappointment of a garage sale?  we were up so early that we got a ridiculous amount of random things done around the house that day. 

im pretty sure S. would have preferred the chainsaw.